i have found a lot of positive reflections from silence and merely listening. there were moments in the past when i make quick and immediate reactions to what people say to me or in their manner of behaving towards me. previously, when i am blamed i respond angrily through words or inflict a cold treatment at the person, on the other hand, when someone is trying to please or impress me with their actions or words i give constant praises and feel spontaneously happy. but nowadays, i try to take things inwards with the realization that when either anger or happiness are sincerely felt from the inside there's no need to overreact - a mere 'thank you' for good words and deeds, or a word of 'sorry' if deserving. i try to consciously convert feelings of anger to silence and compassion - with thoughts that perhaps he/she is just having a bad day...otherwise it's the gentle tap on the shoulder with 'are you alright?' and lend a listening ear when needed, or just leave the person alone if talking about the problem is not the answer. at this stage, being judgemental becomes a test.
i would like to think that people have no intentions to be bad but are simply victims of stressful circumstances causing them to behave that way...or perhaps they do not know any other way to express themselves...we all come from different upbringing and raised in different environments, a child who is raised in an environment that is empty of love or kindness might be having difficulty to express that love that is potentially in them...or to even accept that love.
forgiving others for their hurting words and actions might somehow make them think about their deeds and realize sooner or later that negative behaviour does not serve any purpose except to make people colder and more unloving towards you.
love begets love, mom used to tell me.
ah, the joys of learning!